Main Azaad Hoon

J&K: We want azadi, Indian dogs go back…

Maharashtra(irritated): Tichya aaila, another one! Don’t you have something good to do?

J&K (ignoring): We don’t want you…we want freedom! Indian dogs go back…

UP: Yeh kya bhaau??? Another target today for you? What’s happening here?

J&K: We don’t want to talk to you; we will talk to Dilli only!

UP: Aila, this much tashan??? Are you listening bhaau? Arre o Dada, Bihari bhaiya, Anna(s), Praji, Daju, come here all of you…Oh Chinkis, what are you doing there in the east, you come here too, at once…

Tamil Nadu: Yenna sollran? (What are you saying? {They don’t know Hindi})

Bihar (to Tamil): Eee saala…Angrezi speak, bhau, you tell…

Maharashtra (laughing): Speak English, yenna Rascala…

Gradually everyone is gathering – Praji, Daju, Chinkis and Bana too...

Punjab: Oh, what happened praji? Why are you shouting slogans?

J&K: Aren’t you aware of the cruelty that is being inflicted upon us? They hit us with rifle butts, kick us, slap us, humiliate when they want…

Daju: Really? Who does that?

J&K: What has happened to you, don’t you read you the newspaper? Your forces are killing us under their boots daily.

Chinkis (All together, laughing): Welcome to the world dude…

Andhra Pradesh: So what’s new in that? We are also killed by CRPF battalions almost daily, fakely encountered…

UP: Aur kya, you have not met our policewallahs! Once you meet them, voila…

Andhra: Yeah, you know, Delhi has painted us red, everyone thinks that we are ‘Naxalied’. I mean, come on, we have Hyderabad too…

Karnataka: Learn from me dude, all that I am is Bengaluru, or may be some times Mysore or Mangalore too…all perfect models of development!

Maharashtra: Oh, so does that mean that we can count Bellary as ours???

Karnataka: No, no, that’s not what I meant…

J&K (intervenes): Stop it…you guys are trivializing my struggle for independence!

Punjab: Independence? Dhheere bol bhai…If dilli hears this na, none would be spared. You know what they did to me…

North East: They did the same to us, they have always…
(As always the voice trails off into oblivion and is ignored)

Bihar: And what’s more, you are the special child, most favored? What is it called UP Bhaiya – 370…something?

UP: Batao, and they don’t give us even a single penny, say that we are corrupt…None of the money reaches the poor. I am telling you, if you want the money to reach poor, than give us more money…

Bihar: They never even look at me, whosoever is governing…we are always sidelined, and you want independence…Humko dekho, we are independent!

J&K: Have you ever been woken in the middle of the night? Have can you ever see your entire family being butchered in one moment only…you cannot…you cannot imagine, what it feels like.

Madhya Pradesh: Oh, this is really inhuman. How can they do this?

Rajasthan: Abbe chhup, even your aid will stop…and you (to J&K), stop whining. You are also Indian like us, learn to live with what you have.

J&K: Indian, like you??? Bull shit, we are just a colony for you…not your part, never. If we are also your part then why do you kill us, why shower us with bullets. Why kill innocent defenseless kids?

West Bengal: I agree with you, I am with you in your struggle. Dilli cannot pilfer your resources and turn a blind eye to the people. It’s high time we awaken the people to a Marxist revolution.

Gujarat: O chup oye Dada! See what socialism did to you, Nano comes out of Sanand now, not Singur…

Uttarakhand: And from Pantnagar too…

J&K: I don’t have any interests in your revolution – Marxist or Manmohanist…where is the development anyway? You say we are a part of India, we are a part of Bharat Nirmaan, and they frisk us when they see Kashmir on our IDs, why? Why have you not brought IT to us when half the country basks in its glory, where have you taken our tourists to? Where is the development?

(UP, Bihar, North-East start laughing, Orissa joins)

UP: Dude, have you been to Mirzapur, Etah…

Bihar (cuts in between): Or even, Patna!

J&K: Yes, yes, keep laughing…you have always done that to us!

North-East: Nai boss, honestly, you must send people beyond B’luru, Mumbai and Dilli…rest of the India…(sighs)

J&K: But where are the people to be sent? All the dreams…they are, dreams. The only knocks we heard were of the military. The only parades we witnessed were the military identification parades. The dreams that we dreamt were shattered by the sound of the bullets. The games we played were of life and death…

Tamil Nadu: Do you think that rest of the country does not have problems? Look at the CWG, if only it was to be held in Chennai and not Delhi, we would have shown the world what Tami…Indians are! These north Indians have brought shame to the country.

UP: Saale Anna, khilate kya wahan pe? Idli – Dosa – Sambhar??? Everything is good now with CWG…

Punjab: Yes, Delhi is the best place to hold such event…if the games would have been held in Chennai, all the Goras would have become Kalas and (learnt Tamil)…Blaming North Indians, ruddy are you? All you want to do is to make a separate country…And you (facing Kashmir), you want azadi to go to Pakistan? Never… (fire in the eyes)

J&K: No, azadi for us does not mean merger with Pak! I don’t subscribe to LeT or Hizbul. We don’t want azadi their way…

Madhya Pradesh: Chalo yaar, at least you don’t want to go with Pakistan…those guys are waiting to implode too. But you must understand that such issues cannot be found solution to in streets, by stone pelting…

J&K: Has Dilli, left any other method for us? We have waited 60 years, all you give us is empty promises...There has been a denial on the part of your political set-up to even acknowledge that we are in pain.

Bihar: Empty promises…(Ribs UP) see what happens when the Prime Ministers come from UP.

Tamil Nadu: I am telling you, Thiru Karunanidhi will be the best PM…

UP: Issiliye, that is why, saala you are in south…

Karnataka: I suggest you start protesting on the net, I’ve realized it’s a potent weapon.

J&K: We are doing that too – sending protest letters to your Army, making people aware of our pain, but where is the result? I am, trying to collect my people…I am, ohhh, why don’t you just leave us?

Delhi: But we can’t do that…

J&K: Ohh…finally you are here! So what excuse will you make today?

Delhi: I don’t have excuses, I just talk facts.

UP & Bihar: Chalo, you are here, we can talk of some financial issues too…

Delhi: We’ll talk about that later (frowns), first I want to tell you all that the reporting from J&K has been one sided. They talk of their people being killed, brutalized; but what about those innocent civilians that were killed and are saved only by our Army? What about those pundits who had to leave their homes… What about the massacred Sikhs, what about our killed Jawans?

J&K: And so this gives you a valid reason to kill our children? To force nails in their eyes and ears, aren’t you ashamed of yourself?

(Rajasthan, Gujarat, Maharashtra gasp in horror)

Delhi: I understand your anger. I understand that there are issues…The roads and the rails are yet to reach you even after 60 years. You feel ashamed of being frisked thrice every day. We can do away with some of this, and believe me, we are willing to.

J&K: No, you do not understand yet…we don’t want you, we want azadi.

Delhi: Do you? Let’s see…are you united on this front? Do you all want azadi? Do you all want to pelt stones at me?

Kashmir: Yes…

Delhi: No one’s paying you any money for stone pelting?

(Silence, all look at J&K)

Delhi: Jammu, Ladakh…do you want azad Kashmir or do you want to be a part of the Union of India?

Jammu, Ladakh (look at each other, nod): We are with you…India (collective sigh)

Kashmir: We want azadi…

Delhi: Don’t worry, it’ll come with time…it’s time now for development!

Kashmir: No…

(The spectators fade away, gradually, silently, to their own worlds)


Epilogue

“Sadly there is nothing, absolutely nothing that can bring Showkat back to her (Showkat’s mother). Neither the superpower nation, nor azadi…” – Jaibeer (from Kashmir believes that current crisis has a solution and it is not azadi)


Aayaam’s Note

I’ve tried very hard to step out of my shoes while writing this. I’ve called people names that I would never call them in my life and I apologize for choosing such words, if it hurts anyone.

I was afraid of selecting wrong words for the feelings of Kashmir’s ordinary men and women, and so I have directly quoted some of their feelings of anguish and hatred. I (we) understand your pain and it frustrates me to no end that there’s nothing else that I can do for it, for now…