And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of the night in June
I didn't know much of love, but it came too soon
And There was me and you, and then it got real blue
Stay at home talkin' on the telephone and
We would get so excited, we'd get so scared
Laughing at our selves thinking life's not fair
As we go on, we remember
All the times we had together
And as our lives change, from whatever
We will still be, friends forever!!!
(Forgot to stick these on the notice-board, while still in Kailash...Those were the days, my friends...)
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Engineers for you
Top Ten Reasons To Date an Engineer
1. The world does revolve around us... We pick the coordinate system.
2. Find out what those other buttons on your calculator do.
3. We know how to handle stress and strain in our relationships.
4. Parents will approve.
5. Help with your math homework.
6. Can calculate head pressure.
7. Looks good on a resume.
8. Free body diagrams.
9. High starting salary.
10. Extremely good looking
Top Ten Reasons NOT to Date an Engineer
1. T-shirt and jeans are their formal dress. Hot dog and a six-pack is their seven-course meal.
2. The only social life known of is to post and talk on the net.
3. Flames like a monster and speaks like a pussycat.
4. Works from 6:30am to 7:30pm daily. No morning kisses and no evening walks.
5. No matter how hard you cry and how loud you yell, he just sits there calmly discussing your emotion in terms of mathematical logic.
6. Only listens to classic rock. Hates everything from Bach to Prince.
7. Touches his car more often than you.
8. Talks in acronyms.
9. Can't leave that damn pencil off his ear for a minute.
10. Will file a divorce if you call him in the middle of debugging.
You Might Be An Engineer If...
* You have no life - and you can PROVE it mathematically.
* You enjoy pain.
* You know vector calculus but you can't remember how to do long division.
* You chuckle whenever anyone says "centrifugal force".
* You've actually used every single function on your graphing calculator.
* It is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are working on a computer.
* You frequently whistle the theme song to "MacGyver".
* You know how to integrate a chicken and can take the derivative of water.
* You think in "math".
* You've calculated that the World Series actually diverges.
* You hesitate to look at something because you don't want to break down its wave function.
* You have a pet named after a scientist.
* You laugh at jokes about mathematicians.
* The Humane society has you arrested because you actually performed the Schrodinger's Cat experiment.
* You can translate English into Binary.
* You can't remember what's behind the door in the engineering building which says "Exit".
* You have to bring a jacket with you, in the middle of summer, because there's a wind-chill factor in the lab.
* You are completely addicted to caffeine.
* You avoid doing anything because you don't want to contribute to the eventual heat-death of the universe.
* You consider ANY non-engineering course "easy".
* When your professor asks you where your homework is, you claim to have accidentally determined its momentum so precisely, that according to Heisenberg it could be anywhere in the universe.
* The "fun" center of your brain has deteriorated from lack of use.
* You'll assume that a "horse" is a "sphere" in order to make the math easier.
* The blinking 12:00 on someone's VCR draws you in like a tractor beam to fix it.
* You bring a computer manual / technical journal as vacation reading.
* The salesperson at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions.
* You can't help eavesdropping in computer stores... and correcting the salesperson.
* You're in line for the guillotine... it stops working properly... and you offer to fix it.
* You go on the rides at Disneyland and sit backwards to see how they do the special effects.
* You have any "Dilbert" comics displayed in your work area.
* You have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work.
* You have never backed up your hard drive.
* You haven't bought any new underwear or socks for yourself since you got married.
* You spent more on your calculator than on your wedding ring.
* You think that when people around you yawn, it's because they didn't get enough sleep.
* You would rather get more dots per inch than miles per gallon
* You've ever calculated how much you make per second.
* Your favorite James Bond character is "Q," the guy who makes the gadgets.
* You understood more than five of these jokes.
* You make a copy of this list, and post it on your door (or your home page !)
1. The world does revolve around us... We pick the coordinate system.
2. Find out what those other buttons on your calculator do.
3. We know how to handle stress and strain in our relationships.
4. Parents will approve.
5. Help with your math homework.
6. Can calculate head pressure.
7. Looks good on a resume.
8. Free body diagrams.
9. High starting salary.
10. Extremely good looking
Top Ten Reasons NOT to Date an Engineer
1. T-shirt and jeans are their formal dress. Hot dog and a six-pack is their seven-course meal.
2. The only social life known of is to post and talk on the net.
3. Flames like a monster and speaks like a pussycat.
4. Works from 6:30am to 7:30pm daily. No morning kisses and no evening walks.
5. No matter how hard you cry and how loud you yell, he just sits there calmly discussing your emotion in terms of mathematical logic.
6. Only listens to classic rock. Hates everything from Bach to Prince.
7. Touches his car more often than you.
8. Talks in acronyms.
9. Can't leave that damn pencil off his ear for a minute.
10. Will file a divorce if you call him in the middle of debugging.
You Might Be An Engineer If...
* You have no life - and you can PROVE it mathematically.
* You enjoy pain.
* You know vector calculus but you can't remember how to do long division.
* You chuckle whenever anyone says "centrifugal force".
* You've actually used every single function on your graphing calculator.
* It is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are working on a computer.
* You frequently whistle the theme song to "MacGyver".
* You know how to integrate a chicken and can take the derivative of water.
* You think in "math".
* You've calculated that the World Series actually diverges.
* You hesitate to look at something because you don't want to break down its wave function.
* You have a pet named after a scientist.
* You laugh at jokes about mathematicians.
* The Humane society has you arrested because you actually performed the Schrodinger's Cat experiment.
* You can translate English into Binary.
* You can't remember what's behind the door in the engineering building which says "Exit".
* You have to bring a jacket with you, in the middle of summer, because there's a wind-chill factor in the lab.
* You are completely addicted to caffeine.
* You avoid doing anything because you don't want to contribute to the eventual heat-death of the universe.
* You consider ANY non-engineering course "easy".
* When your professor asks you where your homework is, you claim to have accidentally determined its momentum so precisely, that according to Heisenberg it could be anywhere in the universe.
* The "fun" center of your brain has deteriorated from lack of use.
* You'll assume that a "horse" is a "sphere" in order to make the math easier.
* The blinking 12:00 on someone's VCR draws you in like a tractor beam to fix it.
* You bring a computer manual / technical journal as vacation reading.
* The salesperson at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions.
* You can't help eavesdropping in computer stores... and correcting the salesperson.
* You're in line for the guillotine... it stops working properly... and you offer to fix it.
* You go on the rides at Disneyland and sit backwards to see how they do the special effects.
* You have any "Dilbert" comics displayed in your work area.
* You have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work.
* You have never backed up your hard drive.
* You haven't bought any new underwear or socks for yourself since you got married.
* You spent more on your calculator than on your wedding ring.
* You think that when people around you yawn, it's because they didn't get enough sleep.
* You would rather get more dots per inch than miles per gallon
* You've ever calculated how much you make per second.
* Your favorite James Bond character is "Q," the guy who makes the gadgets.
* You understood more than five of these jokes.
* You make a copy of this list, and post it on your door (or your home page !)
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
A Winter of Nostalgia
What shall be the bigger pain for someone in life – a laceration across one’s physical being or a lost bit of the labyrinth of feelings? There are some things afar the control of excess bouts of morphine for their effect cannot be fathomed, at least not in the bodily nous...
And what is the biggest loss for someone – to lose the love of your life, to lose the pals you make in 4 years, to lose the relations that will perhaps gradually die out, corroded with inescapable rust of time or to lose hope that life will ever blossom again, like it did, once...
Fog, this winter has botched to cloud the nostalgia and chill has done anything but frozen my tears. There were winter mornings when the sun used to receive us with arms wide open, there was a time when the morning ‘glass of adrak wali chai’ was the elixir of life. The table top conversations encompassed George Bush’s foreign policy, how Vajpayee was a better PM than Manmohan Singh, how Gupta sir would kick our asses for not remembering the correct formula and what was the hottest love-gossip in college. The grass would still be drenched from the night’s dew and our hands placated on the either side of steel glass of chai.
There was a stream that flew amidst the valley, alone, muddled...indomitable. Its stony outline would be our darling put to sit at leisure (which was all the time) and the land yonder was all for us to expedite. But, it never required an act of God to change the weather back there...sometimes cloud would come rushing over our heads with the faintest of breezes. And when it rained, it showered chill on us. The sole comfort was juxtaposed to the electric heaters (which often caused power failures). I remember rushing through the small torrents of water that congregated together on the road to academic block to form puddles. We had to jump across them, ending up with wet shoes nonetheless and yet another mind numbing chill. The most comprehensible memory is of that last hailstorm during the last semester exams which we had to endure in T-shirts in May end...
I can’t recall how many times I descried snowfall while in Dwarahat, but I have off pat that it became more stunning every time I saw it. The cotton white-shining flakes falling from the sky, a layer of frozen milky whiteness atop the mountains surrounding you and it showed the path to heaven... Imagine opening your eyes from last night’s slumber, propping on an elbow just to steal a glance at the sunrise outside your window to check if it is really ‘time’ yet...only to find the campus covered in white (although, only an inch or so). It was rare for snow to live that late in our valley and that was the only time I had a reason to fight my quilt and blanket off and away from my cosy bed. The sun was dawdling that dawn daring the snow to live some more, which was already forfeiting itself to light, blistering as if crushed dreams of glass coming to blows just to live their eventual breath.
My mornings, my winters will never be the same...
‘Corporate’ geysers await me as I force myself to power coffees every morning now and people barely have time to say good-morning, let alone strike a conversation. Separate blowers are provided for separate sets of cubicles - the heat is there, but the warmth is missing. People curse the season rather than enjoying it...and I wish this fog would fog my last memories of college, frantically packing my stuff into the car and hurrying off, so that none could see my eyes, wet, but me.
Friday, January 1, 2010
How Mouse belled the CAT...
(Scene 1)
Lord Yama’s abode, end of 2008…Long queue ahead of Chitragupta’s counter…
Naradji: Chitragupta, I see the reason why you have not been answering my messages off late! Busy these days?
Chitragupta: Yes, brahmarshi, the frequency of arrival has shot up by 27% in last couple of weeks.
Naradji: 27%? What the fuck…I think heaven’s going to need some more space allotment.
Chitragupta: No, few of these are gonna end up in heaven…most are suicide cases!
Naradji: Suicide cases? I told Parvati Mata to instill less sense of female empowerment in ‘devis’ down there, but she won’t listen. Now you poor little guy have to bear the brunt of all these dead souls. Do you ever think of going on a strike or at least on a holiday?
Chitragupta: Ssshhh…don’t let Yamaji hear you saying this. I just cajoled him for a pay rise. He’ll sentence me to extra hour’s work every day if I even ask for a holiday. Besides, these guys didn’t murder themselves for their wives. Tell me, have you heard of Lehmann Brothers and American Express Bank?
Naradji: You kidding? I’ve got an account with American Express and invested heavily in Lehmann Bros. What’s up with them, anything special?
Chitragupta: Hold your breath, both have recently filed for bankruptcy. People lost jobs, everywhere in the world. Some of these guys worked with them and others are mostly investors.
Naradji: No way man, this can’t happen to me…I am ruined!!! Why didn’t you tell me earlier? I am gonna kill you…I am rushing to Vishnu Bhagwan. Only he can save me and rest of the earth from this disaster.
(Flies off)
(Scene 2)
(Baikunth Dham, the dwelling place of Lord Vishnu)
Naradji: Bhagwan, bhagwan…save me, save me!!!
Vishnuji: Narad, could you please learn to knock dude? At least you used to cry
Narayan Narayan from a km before coming, but it seems that you are forgetting the good habits fast.
Naradji: (Catching his breath) Sorry bhagwan, but this is an emergency!
Vishnuji: Well, isn’t that obvious…when else do you come to me?
Naradji: (Aghast) Bhagwan…I just don’t know what to say…I keep chanting your name all over…I am sorry, please save me…or I’ll have to kill myself!
Vishnuji: Haha…very funny! I would love to see you do that Narad, but unfortunately you can’t just…die! Ok…now put a check valve on your Ganga-Jamuna and tell me what has happened.
Naradji: My investments, they have plummeted to pataal…there’s complete economic chaos on earth... People are committing suicides in mass numbers.
Vishnuji: Did Lakshmi tell you that she would catalyze your money on earth? (laughs) You…just keep reciting my name but learn nothing…What exactly were you saving money for? Fun trips to earth?
Naradji: Well…not exactly fun trips, just to see if everything is alright there…
Vishnuji: And in-between slip off to a pub…or somewhere else, haan? (winks)
Naradji: Oh, c’on bhagwan, even the gods are entitled to some fun…aren’t they?
Vishnuji: I bet they are; but you already have a lot of fun here as the live page 3, don’t you? Anyway, who the heck suggested you to put investments there? Don’t tell me Kuber did? I’ve already been keeping a tab on him…
Naradji: Actually, lakshmi mata has been very generous with those American hotshots – Lehmann Bros. off late and so I thought…which reminds me where is Mata right now? I could even write an application to her.
Vishnuji: She’s on a holiday; said was tired of listening to people’s daily wish for more of her inconsiderate of the fact the she won’t go but to who understand her true nature. That might as well explain the chaos.
Naradji: Only you can do something now, prabhu!
Vishnuji: Hmm… let’s see, it is an economic catastrophe, not my area of expertise! May be you should go to Shiva or to Ma Kali! May be, this is even happening because they wanted it to. After all, they are the Gods of destruction. This is their hiccup…a self-correction cycle!
Naradji: But it would take a lot of time to get Lord Shiva out of his samadhi only! Besides, his security clearance is pretty high…and between you and me, I think, he doesn’t think much of me!
Vishnuji: Alright, alright…we’ll do something. Now, have you talked to Chitragupta? What are the people who have died the most? I mean what profession are they from?
Naradji: They are mostly investors who have lost their money and now their life…from their whisperings; I believe they are holding their investment managers responsible.
Visnhuji: Managers, right that narrows it down…Ummm, let’s make it simpler!!
(Closes his eyes for a second, a Sony Vaio appears…looks at Narad)
I just upgraded my system to Windows 7 from Vista!
Naradji: Vista really sucked…
Vishnuji: That’s why I put the notion of quitting in the mind of Gates…thank God, oops me, that ‘7’ is better!!! Now, here we connect to the Wi-max system, and here… is my homepage – google.com
Naradji: Man, your connection is damn faster than mine is…Have you updated the hardware too?
Vishnuji: Nope, there’re special privileges of being me, you see!
Naradji: (mutters) Privileges…when you control the universe…
Vishnuji: I can hear, Narad!!! Watch out…
Naradji: Sorry, bhagwan…forgot that you use the latest hearing aid from Intel! So what spider are you sending out…
Vishnuji: Financial crisis – Lehmann Brothers – Managers, hope it will turn out ample accurate results…I hate probing through the all the e–trash!
Naradji: Yeah…and that’s when you are ‘the’ god, just imagine how much it frustrates me…
Vishnuji: Whatever…well, here they come, Lehmann brothers – bankrupt, fraud, assets, liabilities, management, fresh recruits, investors…
Naradji: Shouldn’t we be venting ourselves at management?
Vishnuji: (Stern expression on face) Gods are never responsible for the blunder…remember?
Naradji: (Mechanically) Yes! Those who err are always a step lower than perfection, distant from being God…I remember! But then who are we targeting?
Vishnuji: Isn’t it obvious? The VPs, the senior managers and every other hot-shot … lemme check their profile. (Clicks on a link)
Naradji: Hey, look…lots of them look like Indians…what’s happening down there?
Vishnuji: Hmmm…I hope this is not an international conspiracy by Indians against the Dollar…damn me if they hid it from me too…
Naradji: An international conspiracy? What are these guys – a coterie?
Vishnuji: (Suddenly breaking into a triumphant smile) There’s more to them than just a coterie…the stemmata…bloody hell! I should’ve guessed it!
Naradji: What?
Vishnuji: Have you heard of IIMs? They all come from IIMs…
Naradji: Fuck me…if I can’t bell the CAT!
Vishnuji: Well, dude…if you don’t mind your language…I am as well going to do that. And what’s this kitten that you are talking about?
Naradji: Pardon me prabhu…just couldn’t hide my excitement, and it’s no mundane cat that I am speaking of…it is the CAT - Common Admission Test.
Vishnuji: An entrance examination?
Naradji: You bet…but it’s not just an entrance examination…Just a couple of years ago, I overheard an earthling expressing his last dying wish – cracking the CAT!
Vishnuji: So it must be like JEE…every other +2 student from India trying to crack it…
Naradji: Well, they try to gauge every aspect of your personality…not just that thing about cramming the book-shit! That’s what I heard him telling this other earthling…they want guided missiles!! But what’ as that got to do with the crisis?
Vishnuji: Air…
Naradji: Beg your pardon?
Vishnuji: The guys who, as the inferior ones say it, bell the cat have their minds inflated with this air of superiority of being invincible…and that being the negative feeling drove the forces of crisis towards their work center…an internal mechanism to keep the earthlings in check, newly developed by Shiva, it is still in beta phase though!
Naradji: Beta phase?
Vishnuji: The testing phase, laddy…honestly, if you are any slower than this, you’ll be going backwards! It was the brainchild of the soul of Karl Marx, that guy with long beard who just hates every market in the world…He tried to sell the idea to our Jesus version, but you know…he doesn’t deal with such specific working of the world…it’s either a good deed or a sin for him – no grey zones!
Naradji: (Muffling a yawn) Alright…so what’s the plan now?
Vishnuji: Well…these guys think that they are cool, ‘cause they cracked CAT, right? Let’s disrupt CAT this year…
Naradji: How are we gonna do that?
Vishnuji: Go to Yama and ask him to lend you a couple of viruses…while I fix my meeting with some of the professors in IIMs who control the CAT…(laughs)
(And for rest of the story, refer to archives of The Times of India or India Today)
Lord Yama’s abode, end of 2008…Long queue ahead of Chitragupta’s counter…
Naradji: Chitragupta, I see the reason why you have not been answering my messages off late! Busy these days?
Chitragupta: Yes, brahmarshi, the frequency of arrival has shot up by 27% in last couple of weeks.
Naradji: 27%? What the fuck…I think heaven’s going to need some more space allotment.
Chitragupta: No, few of these are gonna end up in heaven…most are suicide cases!
Naradji: Suicide cases? I told Parvati Mata to instill less sense of female empowerment in ‘devis’ down there, but she won’t listen. Now you poor little guy have to bear the brunt of all these dead souls. Do you ever think of going on a strike or at least on a holiday?
Chitragupta: Ssshhh…don’t let Yamaji hear you saying this. I just cajoled him for a pay rise. He’ll sentence me to extra hour’s work every day if I even ask for a holiday. Besides, these guys didn’t murder themselves for their wives. Tell me, have you heard of Lehmann Brothers and American Express Bank?
Naradji: You kidding? I’ve got an account with American Express and invested heavily in Lehmann Bros. What’s up with them, anything special?
Chitragupta: Hold your breath, both have recently filed for bankruptcy. People lost jobs, everywhere in the world. Some of these guys worked with them and others are mostly investors.
Naradji: No way man, this can’t happen to me…I am ruined!!! Why didn’t you tell me earlier? I am gonna kill you…I am rushing to Vishnu Bhagwan. Only he can save me and rest of the earth from this disaster.
(Flies off)
(Scene 2)
(Baikunth Dham, the dwelling place of Lord Vishnu)
Naradji: Bhagwan, bhagwan…save me, save me!!!
Vishnuji: Narad, could you please learn to knock dude? At least you used to cry
Narayan Narayan from a km before coming, but it seems that you are forgetting the good habits fast.
Naradji: (Catching his breath) Sorry bhagwan, but this is an emergency!
Vishnuji: Well, isn’t that obvious…when else do you come to me?
Naradji: (Aghast) Bhagwan…I just don’t know what to say…I keep chanting your name all over…I am sorry, please save me…or I’ll have to kill myself!
Vishnuji: Haha…very funny! I would love to see you do that Narad, but unfortunately you can’t just…die! Ok…now put a check valve on your Ganga-Jamuna and tell me what has happened.
Naradji: My investments, they have plummeted to pataal…there’s complete economic chaos on earth... People are committing suicides in mass numbers.
Vishnuji: Did Lakshmi tell you that she would catalyze your money on earth? (laughs) You…just keep reciting my name but learn nothing…What exactly were you saving money for? Fun trips to earth?
Naradji: Well…not exactly fun trips, just to see if everything is alright there…
Vishnuji: And in-between slip off to a pub…or somewhere else, haan? (winks)
Naradji: Oh, c’on bhagwan, even the gods are entitled to some fun…aren’t they?
Vishnuji: I bet they are; but you already have a lot of fun here as the live page 3, don’t you? Anyway, who the heck suggested you to put investments there? Don’t tell me Kuber did? I’ve already been keeping a tab on him…
Naradji: Actually, lakshmi mata has been very generous with those American hotshots – Lehmann Bros. off late and so I thought…which reminds me where is Mata right now? I could even write an application to her.
Vishnuji: She’s on a holiday; said was tired of listening to people’s daily wish for more of her inconsiderate of the fact the she won’t go but to who understand her true nature. That might as well explain the chaos.
Naradji: Only you can do something now, prabhu!
Vishnuji: Hmm… let’s see, it is an economic catastrophe, not my area of expertise! May be you should go to Shiva or to Ma Kali! May be, this is even happening because they wanted it to. After all, they are the Gods of destruction. This is their hiccup…a self-correction cycle!
Naradji: But it would take a lot of time to get Lord Shiva out of his samadhi only! Besides, his security clearance is pretty high…and between you and me, I think, he doesn’t think much of me!
Vishnuji: Alright, alright…we’ll do something. Now, have you talked to Chitragupta? What are the people who have died the most? I mean what profession are they from?
Naradji: They are mostly investors who have lost their money and now their life…from their whisperings; I believe they are holding their investment managers responsible.
Visnhuji: Managers, right that narrows it down…Ummm, let’s make it simpler!!
(Closes his eyes for a second, a Sony Vaio appears…looks at Narad)
I just upgraded my system to Windows 7 from Vista!
Naradji: Vista really sucked…
Vishnuji: That’s why I put the notion of quitting in the mind of Gates…thank God, oops me, that ‘7’ is better!!! Now, here we connect to the Wi-max system, and here… is my homepage – google.com
Naradji: Man, your connection is damn faster than mine is…Have you updated the hardware too?
Vishnuji: Nope, there’re special privileges of being me, you see!
Naradji: (mutters) Privileges…when you control the universe…
Vishnuji: I can hear, Narad!!! Watch out…
Naradji: Sorry, bhagwan…forgot that you use the latest hearing aid from Intel! So what spider are you sending out…
Vishnuji: Financial crisis – Lehmann Brothers – Managers, hope it will turn out ample accurate results…I hate probing through the all the e–trash!
Naradji: Yeah…and that’s when you are ‘the’ god, just imagine how much it frustrates me…
Vishnuji: Whatever…well, here they come, Lehmann brothers – bankrupt, fraud, assets, liabilities, management, fresh recruits, investors…
Naradji: Shouldn’t we be venting ourselves at management?
Vishnuji: (Stern expression on face) Gods are never responsible for the blunder…remember?
Naradji: (Mechanically) Yes! Those who err are always a step lower than perfection, distant from being God…I remember! But then who are we targeting?
Vishnuji: Isn’t it obvious? The VPs, the senior managers and every other hot-shot … lemme check their profile. (Clicks on a link)
Naradji: Hey, look…lots of them look like Indians…what’s happening down there?
Vishnuji: Hmmm…I hope this is not an international conspiracy by Indians against the Dollar…damn me if they hid it from me too…
Naradji: An international conspiracy? What are these guys – a coterie?
Vishnuji: (Suddenly breaking into a triumphant smile) There’s more to them than just a coterie…the stemmata…bloody hell! I should’ve guessed it!
Naradji: What?
Vishnuji: Have you heard of IIMs? They all come from IIMs…
Naradji: Fuck me…if I can’t bell the CAT!
Vishnuji: Well, dude…if you don’t mind your language…I am as well going to do that. And what’s this kitten that you are talking about?
Naradji: Pardon me prabhu…just couldn’t hide my excitement, and it’s no mundane cat that I am speaking of…it is the CAT - Common Admission Test.
Vishnuji: An entrance examination?
Naradji: You bet…but it’s not just an entrance examination…Just a couple of years ago, I overheard an earthling expressing his last dying wish – cracking the CAT!
Vishnuji: So it must be like JEE…every other +2 student from India trying to crack it…
Naradji: Well, they try to gauge every aspect of your personality…not just that thing about cramming the book-shit! That’s what I heard him telling this other earthling…they want guided missiles!! But what’ as that got to do with the crisis?
Vishnuji: Air…
Naradji: Beg your pardon?
Vishnuji: The guys who, as the inferior ones say it, bell the cat have their minds inflated with this air of superiority of being invincible…and that being the negative feeling drove the forces of crisis towards their work center…an internal mechanism to keep the earthlings in check, newly developed by Shiva, it is still in beta phase though!
Naradji: Beta phase?
Vishnuji: The testing phase, laddy…honestly, if you are any slower than this, you’ll be going backwards! It was the brainchild of the soul of Karl Marx, that guy with long beard who just hates every market in the world…He tried to sell the idea to our Jesus version, but you know…he doesn’t deal with such specific working of the world…it’s either a good deed or a sin for him – no grey zones!
Naradji: (Muffling a yawn) Alright…so what’s the plan now?
Vishnuji: Well…these guys think that they are cool, ‘cause they cracked CAT, right? Let’s disrupt CAT this year…
Naradji: How are we gonna do that?
Vishnuji: Go to Yama and ask him to lend you a couple of viruses…while I fix my meeting with some of the professors in IIMs who control the CAT…(laughs)
(And for rest of the story, refer to archives of The Times of India or India Today)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)