Crossroads or Cross Roads???

I sometimes wonder - How come some people have so much clarity in their life???

I mean, why can't some people be as confused as a normal person is or is having no confusion in your life normal?
Hell, don't tell me that the last one is right...coz that would makeme abnormal!!!
I was reading that book or rather say that I've read those bestsellers on self-improvement. Tried 'You Can Win' and 'Think and Grow Rich', each of them repeating that scrap about chose your aim wisely and then follow it to heaven or to hell and blah blah blah...
None tells you how to chose that aim...kya yaar!!! Is God gonna transcend in my head and give me some of his/her's those goofy slapsticks or what?? How do i get to know what exactly do I want from my life? Shit am I torn apart between those do's and don't's?
There are so much crossroads in my life, that I face a road at any angle I turn! I once convinced myself with this one-liner:
"When you are at crossroads, cross all the roads or cross all the roads"!!!
One is not obviously not possible 'coz after all I am an ordinary human (with extra-ordinary aspirations) with just one life to survive and obviously too less a time to spend.
The other, shall take me straight to Himalayas (I'm already in their lap) forget all the materialistic world and embrass the fuckin divine sprituality which is supposed to give a man the ultimate pleasures of life. But back in my mind I know that ultimate pleasure of life in the ultimate orgasm, so there's no point taking up spiritual 'pleasures' of life before I get a bite of materialistic ones.
So as you can see for yourself, I'm once again confused amongst my options and dare not single anyone out. The best way out of the quandries ats it seems to me is to give the main ones a try all...how lucky of them!!!
How is one to live a moral and compassionate existence when one is fully aware of the blood, the horror inherent in life, when one finds darkness not only in one's culture but within oneself? If there is a stage at which an individual life becomes truly adult, it must be when one grasps the irony in its unfolding and accepts responsibility for a life lived in the midst of such paradox. One must live in the middle of contradiction, because if all contradiction were eliminated at once life would collapse. There are simply no answers to some of the great pressing questions. You continue to live them out, making your life a worthy expression of leaning into the light.

Or as I always believe during an untolerable lecture,
"If you're not confused, you're not paying attention."