The Onus

"Stop staring at me."

"But...I am hungry!!!"

"And so am I, now go away and let me eat."

"Please, I've not eaten for 3 days..."

Just as I was going to sink my teeth in the parantha, this relentless cry from the girl stopped me. She looked pale, thin and anything if it could get thinner then thin.

I knew she was not lying, but I was hungry. So what if I didn't give her my meal, she could beg anyone...where would I get a new parantha from??? There was a long day ahead and I had loads of work to do.

But she had a long life ahead...long, endless life of penury. I tried to move on, she kept following me. I tried to escape, but my feet...they suddenly felt heavier. The integrity of my character had left me, and left behind was the onus. I was looking around for help, if only my savior could come and save me from this...

People looked at me, and continued on their trajectories. I wonder if the feeling in their eyes was of guilt, compassion or abhorrence...was it directed at me or the destitute girl?

The chauraha was near, I quickened my pace. For the last time I turned my head and looked at the girl. Her eyes were still pleading, and her torn clothes, bared her own story. I stepped on the road, turned back again (and then cursed myself for that all day).

Out of the blue, I stretched my hand, almost throwing my meal at her...and then just ran away. I didn't have the courage to look back at her anymore.

"I've given you my meal...its you who should be saying sorry for taking away what I already had, but then why am I feeling sorry for you???", the voice kept bellowing in my mind all the morning.