Anybody who believes that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach flunked geography. The tragedy of sexual intercourse is the perpetual virginity of the soul.Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.Flies spread disease - keep yours zipped.Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast. Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love. For the first time in history, sex is more dangerous than the cigarette afterward. Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer. Men get laid, but women get screwed. It is bad enough that people are dying of AIDS, but no one should die of ignorance. When a guy goes to a hooker, he's not paying her for sex, he's paying her to leave. Sex. In America an obsession. In other parts of the world a fact.When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute. Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love.To hear many religious people talk, one would think God created the torso, head, legs and arms, but the devil slapped on the genitals. The best sex education for kids is when Daddy pats Mommy on the fanny when he comes home from work. No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens. My reaction to porn films is as follows: After the first ten minutes, I want to go home and screw. After the first 20 minutes, I never want to screw again as long as I live. Familiarity breeds contempt - and children. What is commonly called love, namely the desire of satisfying a voracious appetite with a certain quantity of delicate white human flesh. Sex is God's joke on human beings. Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.

Against diseases here the strongest fence
Is the defensive vertue, Abstinence.

Life without sex might be safer but it would be unbearably dull. It is the sex instinct which makes women seem beautiful, which they are once in a blue moon, and men seem wise and brave, which they never are at all. Throttle it, denaturalize it, take it away, and human existence would be reduced to the prosaic, laborious, boresome, imbecile level of life in an anthill. AIDS obliges people to think of sex as having, possibly, the direst consequences: suicide. Or murder.There is nothing wrong with going to bed with someone of your own sex. People should be very free with sex, they should draw the line at goats. There's nothing better than good sex. But bad sex? A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is better than bad sex. The natural man has only two primal passions, to get and beget. The good thing about masturbation is that you don't have to get dressed up for it. Sex relieves tension - love causes it. If you use the electric vibrator near water, you will come and go at the same time. Men wake up aroused in the morning. We can't help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, "How can he want me the way I look in the morning?" It's because we can't see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve. I think I could fall madly in bed with you.Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. Sex is emotion in motion.

Love's mysteries in souls do grow,
But yet the body is his book.

Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn't!I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty. For women the best aphrodisiacs are words. The G-spot is in the ears. He who looks for it below there is wasting his time. Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of the best. Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful - provided you get between the right man and the right woman.Literature is mostly about having sex and not much about having children; life is the other way around.