think i've forgotten what it was like to be 20. u know what i mean? everything was still so fresh then, wasnt it? or am i misremembering? i don't think i knew what the hell was going on when i was 20. i was still a kid. still wet clay, in the process of being molded. going to classes at college, my mouth still dropping open when i heard new things. gobbling up information in my notes, day by day. writing and reading 18 out of every 24 hours. just chomping up whole mouthfuls of texts and lectures and watching people get drunk and stoked up. each sex chasing the other.
it was wild. it was new. surprises every week. just finding out what politics was. just a little quivering divining stick, u know? like the water finders use? that was me. taking a dive downward when it divines where the water really is. trying to find something to dive toward and hang on to. trying to find out what i could believe in.
so i found out what i was interested in. books. history. writing. art. football. LOL, yes, football. drugs, no, not really. booze, just a little bourbon, maybe. i've never been really, totally drunk in my life. and it was when i was 20 that i decided not to go for drunk, a little tipsy is fine. but not two sheets to the wind. scares me too much.
yeah, i was 20, once. it was good, it was fun, it was revelatory. i guess i remember more of it than i thought i did.
Heck...i r'ber it like it was yesterday, after all I've just turned 21!!!
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